magic home sauna

i can't believe my mom actually bought this, or something similar. anne said there was a body suit version. [insert rolling eyes here]
the sauna "Can be used with beauty roducts such as bath lotion, figure-shaping salt, aroma essence, Chinese hearbal products etc." ummm i guess they couldn't afford editors or forgot to spell-check. i'm shaking my head and sighing at the thought of seeing my mom in this contraption.

bag it yourself!

"The San Francisco Commission on the Environment unanimously approved a proposal Tuesday evening asking the city to charge grocery shoppers 17 cents for every paper or plastic bag they take home." Read more at truthout or sfgov.

san francisco will now be the first in the nation to charge for grocery bags! i love this city. marina boy mayor gavin newsom continues to surprise me. at this point the fee applies only to the major grocery chains, but that's better than nothing. now people will think twice before getting a bag for every little thing they buy or may bring their own. plastic bags are big contributors to waste and pollution. people just discard them on the sidewalks at leisure. i often see folks come out of stores with a single purchase, like a soda, then throw the plastic bag away the moment they step out and then drink their beverage. i furrow my brows at this.
it helps when stores give you a little reward for bringing your own bags (not that it should matter). more stores should follow the likes of rainbow grocery. you get 5 cents per plastic bag (the kind you use for produce) and 10 cents for your own grocery bags. also, when you bring your own containers for bulk purchases, you get to deduct the weight of that container, which i think is important. plus, they have ample bike parking. at whole foods, for instance, they don't give you the option of subtracting the tare. you basically get charged for using your own jar.
interestingly, some countries like Ireland, Australia, and Taiwan already charge fees for grocery bags. the latter is a happy surprise for me. taiwanese people love toting around with multiple pink bags. i recall getting scowls when i refused bags from vendors in taipei. they ask 'are you sure?' and are probably thinking 'what a weird taiwanese-american.'

what you don't see exists in beautiful form

this weekend i saw the body worlds exhibition (or 'körperwelten') at the california science center in los angeles, which showcases gunter von hagen's plastinated human bodies. the german doctor von hagen is the inventor of the plastination technique that preserve human bodies and other animals. ever since the exhibit opened in la la land months ago, i've been dying to go see it. finally, cary and i drove down to soCal this weekend, also the show's closing weekend. starting 29 jan, body worlds 2 will arrive will all new specimen.

von hagen's plastinated vascular systems were most awesome! i was blown away by how he was able to preserve the arterioles and capillaries so well. no words can appropriately describe what i was seeing or how i felt. there's no doubt that our blood vessels resemble tree branches. you've got your main trunk, like the aorta which branches out and divides into smaller and smaller vessels. down at the capillary bed, there lie a dense, dense matrix. the vessels resemble coral or balls of dried, frizzy hair. they are so beautiful and captivating, so delicate and brittle. i stared agape.

i was also delighted to see all walks of life at the exhibit. of course, the viewing experience would have been better had there been less people. then, i could see better and do some sketching. i'm always surprised how little people know about their own bodies, how things work and fit internally, and where things are located. now they can fully appreciated the wonderfully complicated 3D puzzle pieces within. all the nooks and convexities of our organs are for a reason; they all fit together like puzzle pieces. for instance, the reason why our left lung has 2 left lobes as opposed to 3 as on the right is so that the apex and left side of the heart can fit. the descending and horizontal bends of the duodenum forms a nice "u" for the head of the pancreas to nestle.
although meticulously dissected and posed, i wasn't as interested in the dynamically positioned, anatomically incorrectly displayed bodies; such as one of this man whose muscles were flayed and flying in the air. a handful of others, like the basketball player or yoga woman, were more anatomically correct as far as how muscles would respond to one's body movements. those were better in giving the viewer a clearer sense of how the body works. i have a particular affinity to just straight dissections, prosections and body slices, to just pure anatomy and pathology. perhaps the subtle message of comparing a healthy lung next to a carcinogenic lung would persuade a few museum-goers to quit smoking, or the heptomegalic and cirrhotic liver compared to the healthy, normal-sized one would encourage some to refuse that 7th bloody mary. one of my favorite plastinates was of the tattooed man or "3D slice plastination" (as the placard read). he was coronally sliced into some 5 or 6 sections. the dissection and slicing were executed exceptionally well and revealed great anatomy and pathology, too. tattoo man probably died from emphysema and lung cancer. he seemed to have diseased thyroids as well. one of the sections cuts through his nasal turbinates in such perfect form! he was ghastly beautiful. i overheard one woman say she felt winded and dizzy after that particulary specimen.

i could go on. i definitely want to see part 2. it was worth the long drive, partly because i got to visit anne and had a desirable driving companion.

in awe guration day

boh! too bad the electricity didn't go out again today. i'd surely like to join the protests downtown again w's pompous inauguration. see indymedia for details. how can i endure another four years of this crap? yes, i'm bitter still.

free day!

a 115,000-volt transmission line fell into open space near the Millbrae Bart station this morning. this left Millbrae and San Bruno, and parts of Burlingame without electricity for several hours.

i recall feeling a jolt and seeing all the lights at the Bart station flicker for 2 seconds sometime before 8am. when i arrived to work, i discovered the entire office complex was without electricity. since we were still twiddling our thumbs in darkness by 10am, the company excused everyone from work. YIPEEE!! we took advantage of the sunny day by loafing about the city with fun and frolic.

terrorists fighting terror

Bus 19, an israeli bus destroyed by a Palestinian suicide bomber last year, is "on tour" in the US. this is supposed to show people the results of terrorism and promote a global anti-terrorism campaign. The bus was on display in berkeley yesterday (sunday). pro-israelis were met by pro-palestinians at the event.

for balance, i suggest thousands of palestinian corpses, rubble from flattened homes, and dead olive trees should be touring along with bus 19. then the global terrorism story would be complete. terrorism exist on both sides,except when the israelis act out it's called something else, something different or just not called anything at all.

what about a photo exhibit comparing and contrasting these so-called "israeli settlements," which are fancy housing projects, compared to bulldozed palestinian homes and refugee camps.

Bombed Jerusalem Bus Exhibit
Eye on Palestine (ARIJ)

poo explosion

since it was jan's last night in san francisco, a bunch of us indulged in an evening of hip shaking and debauchery. needless to say, none of us slumbered until 2am or so. jan had to be at the airport by 6.30. i hopped back into bed after getting back from sfo. we were hoping to sleep in and have a lazy saturday. the overcast, gloomy weather was perfect for lounging around.
how quickly one's plans can backfire.

around 9.30 we were startled by the sound of a mini waterfall near my front door. i thought it was outside but the way the water was flowing and sounding made me think otherwise. after a few moments of verbally discussing what it could be, i finally plucked myself away from the warmth and went to investigate. a horrible stench slapped me wide awake, then i stood agape at the sight of poo water flooding my entire bathroom and entryway. a bit was leaking onto the carpet. it was so disgusting, visually and olfactorily. immediately i called Hanne.
the toilet seemed to have come alive and overflowed crap, toilet paper bits, food particles and lots n' lots of sewage water. the malodor made me feel ill. apparently the sewer outside was clogged and overflowing as well. they had the washing machine running upstairs, and i guess that caused more pressure or something. Tom went out to unclog the sewer outside. i think all the rain lately also contributed to the backed-up sewage. how gross.
initially, i didn't know where to begin cleaning. i was still in shock. i don't even own a mop. i lit incense first, and cary made coffee. every little aroma to mask the stench! in a good way, the heavy bathrug helped to soak up a lot of the water in the bathroom, and i used the other 2 rugs in the entryway to sop up more poo water. shit got under the baseboards too. unwanted toothbrushes come in handy in this situation! i sent cary out to get bleach for me. i'll make an exception here to use harsh chemicals. after all, i never finished the 2nd round of hep A shots after my venezuela trip years ago. it's not just my poo i'm disposing of. cleaning up took forever. this is a nightmare for someone with OCD tendencies. i decided to disinfect the rest of my apartment, do laundry and vacuum. exciting, eh? my hands were aching from wringing rags and sponges and roughened up further from bleach and water getting inside the gloves.

what a saturday.

murder without cause

the madness and mayhem of israeli occupation in palestine and the heinous murders committed againast innocent Palestinians continue. yesterday on Flashpoints dennis bernstein reported about an unarmed man shot in the eye by an israeli sniper as he was trying to drive his pregnant wife, who was about to give birth, to the hospital. he died from the gunshot wound which went through his brain and subsequently crashed the car. not surprisingly, the israelis tried to argue the cause of death on the car crash, when in fact doctors confirmed the innocent victim died from the gunshot wound. besides, how can anyone even dare to contend something like this? even if this young palestinaian died from the car crash, who the fuck would not lose control of a vehicle upon being shot through the fucking eye? i don't know if the wife and baby in-utero were safe. unfortunately, atrocious murders like this occur daily in israeli-occupied palestine. over 500 children under age 17 have been murdered in the occupied territories in the last few years, not counting the the other 1500 plus over 18 (see Palestinian Centre for Human Rights).
mainstream media just glosses over the daily injustices inflicted upon innocent palestinian civilians. it's obvious the US and other developing nations side with israel. violence, in the form of suicide bombings, against the equally violent israeli occupation will never solve the problems,but when you've got nothing–no hope, no freedoms to move about, no food or job– what else can you do? i do not support killing innocent israelis but i certainly empathize with the desperation and hopelessness of the palestinians. what else can you do when the world just turns their backs? *sigh* it makes me so morose and so mad.
support alternative media and free speech radio! here's a few. . .
KPFA radio and Pacifica Radio
EI
FAIR

dolor de cabeza

my head hurts so much i feel like vomiting. the pain radiates from the occipital region, up around the temporalis and then behind my eyes. i just want to crawl into a dark, warm cave. unfortunately i'll have to eke it out until 10pm. i'm starting a watercolour class tonight! internally i'm ecstatic but physically i just want to collapse and sleep. the excitement is easily masked by the inexorable, intense pain.

as far as i know, the causes of migraines remain unknown to scientists. yes, they theorize but there is nothing definitive. and of course, there is no cure. one can observe triggers and try to prevent them. it's kind of hard to tell your coworkers they were too much fucking perfume that makes me want to vomit. yesterday i had a slight discomfort in my head, then 2 meetings later with a couple of perfume over-doused women i had a full-blown migraine. we need a scent-free policy.

i'd been suffering from severe migraines since age 8, among other ailments. i think a lot of those conditions arose from the problems at home and the way interpreted the situations i encountered. oftentimes, any minute movement would be excruciating. at times i'd lie in a fetal position and cry myself to sleep. i don't know too many people having migraines before their teens. surely, with all that pain brain damage would ensue! luckily, the migraines got less and less frequent and intense over the years. in college they were usually triggered by stress, anxiety or menstruation. lately, i don't know what is happening. i have surmise a culprit but don't really know for sure. c'est la vie. *sigh*

roygbiv

looking up at the crosswalk to pedal across el camino this morning, i saw before me a double rainbow! it was framing our work building nicely. i was instantly mesmerized and nearly merged into a car. the lower arch was extremely vibrant and i could distinctly make out 7 bands, ROY-G-BIV. (some things you learn in elementary school you never forget). i wished i had a camera. the secondary rainbow was a faint halo of the first. both were complete 180º arcs– at least to me they were.

i decided to look up how a double rainbow forms just now. this site has the best explanation.

homunculus

i relish watching cary's fingers glide and depress the strings of his mandolin. one cannot fully appreciate the sounds resonating from the instrument without remarking on the vehicle creating the sounds. although each of his fingers is nearly 1.5 times the width of one of mine, he plays with such naturalness and ease. it's quite fascinating to watch and then hear the sounds translated by the way the wrists or fingertips vibrate. i don't think i'd be able to keep my fingers between the frets properly. it would be more of a comical routine. observing someone technically adept changes the experience.

hands are such amazing sensory and mechanical structures. they can be very expressive. i always take note of people's hands when i meet them- the overall architecture, shape and size of fingers, fingernails, types of jewelry. . .hands can dictate one's occupation, hygiene (or lack thereof); they have a lot of personality. in college i did a photography project taking portraits of people's hands from different backgrounds. i particularly recall a ceramicist with 2 missing distal phalanges; his clay-encrusted hands were smoothing out a bowl on the wheel. i still would like to continue this project.

it's no surprise that the homunculus represents the hands disproportionally larger than most parts of our bodies. your hands have particularly dense touch receptors compared to other areas of the skin (other than the lips).

force of life

i can watch jellyfish beat rhythmically through the water hours upon hours. the way their bells contract and relax remind me of the way the heart contracts and relaxes, or the way the lungs inflate and deflate.

a mishmash of randomness (procrastination)

ahhh..the fusion of cardamom, cloves, ginger and peppercorns presently perfumes my place.

i think my body is fighting some sort of gastrointestinal bug. my abdominal region feels abnormally queasy; i've been chilly all day; i feel a bit dizzy and have that weird taste in my mouth. i just brewed some extra gingery yogi chai tea in hopes of quelling the bowels. the yogi tea recipe's no secret, but i first learned how to prepare this from fresh, whole spices in 2002 when i was in beatenberg (situated in the suisse's bernese oberland). i detoured to that small, quaint town overlooking lake thun after a trip to spain. my mom was at the meditationszentrum beatenberg for a month-long vipassana retreat. i stayed a week for free room and board in exchange for helping to prepare meals and to clean. the slow-paced week in beatenberg was a pleasant contrast to the hectic backpacking in spain, especially since i caught a terrible cold. i think it arised from the 22-hour train ride from barcelona to bern- being confined in a rectangular box breathing stale oxygen harbouring airborne pathogens.

i should be illustrating varicose and spider veins for work. a deadline cometh soon. . .

"Five Diamonds for DANIEL"
an asian man dressed in a nicely tailored suit sat across from me on the bart this afternoon. he was deeply engrossed in 'poker player,' volume 6 (or was it 8- damn astigmatism!), number 14, january 10, 2005. i have never seen such a periodical. i immediately thought about an article i read in the latest giant robot about the buses in southern california that take asian gamblers to vegas. these buses pick up from various asian grocery store/shopping center parking lots. i actually had the privilege of riding one of those big buses to yosemite many years ago with my dad and his wife. the pickup point was at some grocery store parking lot. i recall it was very loud. chinese and cantonese people tend to shout when talking. there really is no point to this story. i'm simply procrastinating.

i went upstairs to do laundry and found a package waiting for me! hanne, the owner, must have heard me come up and placed my mail atop the dryer. among the odds and ends, the most noteworthy to divulge is the teddy scares doll, "once soft and cuddly, now dead and bloody." i received Hester Golem, who is infested with "slimy bugs that rummage through" his body. you can unvelcro his stomach and pull out plastic bugs, like a cockroach. hester also comes with an autopsy tag. the back of the box reads: "these once loyal stuffed friends have undergone a hideous transformation–these cannibalistic cadavers have returned from their graves to exact a bloody revenge." NICE! i wanted to post a picture of hester but then realized i'd have to sign up for Flickr. more log-in names and passwords to keep track of! a few years ago i received a living dead doll–School Time Sadie–from the same friend. she holds a bloody cleaver in her hand.

enough dillydallying

dukkha: on suffering

my mother exposed me to buddhist teachings when i was around 8. certain buddhist concepts left a profound mark on me, particularly 'existence is suffering'. i must admit i took that mantra into my own morbid interpretations during my downtrodden teenage years, touting the motto "life sux and life is suffering."

the Four Noble Truths, a fundamental concept in Buddhism:
1 dukkha::suffering exists (ordinary suffering, suffering from change, suffering from conditioned change)
2 samudaya:: the causes of suffering arise from attachment to desires
3 nirodha:: the cessation of suffering occurs when attachment to desires ceases
4 magga:: the is a way to cease suffering through the Noble
Eight-Fold Path

i think my mother probably started to explore buddhism over 20 years ago in hopes of ending her own suffering. i must admit she became a completely different (better, happier though still quirky) person afterwards. in recent years, my mom started to study and to translate original Thervada texts. she is an accomplished yogi and very serious about her vipassana meditation practise. she preaches mindfulness and inner peace to me often. over the last year, my mom has been battling a trecherous, metastatic cancer. how could someone let go of this type of ordinary suffering (dukkha dukkha)? clearly she is suffering, and it is not just some sort of "woe is me" thing. from a buddhist perspective, is it bad to desire for a cure? does the desire for getting better prolong your suffering? it's a double-edged sword. how does one strike a balance between accepting things as they are and wanting something better?

i'm trying to rehearsh how i can articulately probe my mom about her suffering.